I was looking back at some stuff and I just remembered some of the crazy stuff I’ve done. So I thought I’d write a list…
1. Buckingham Palace
I remember, when I was little, I went to Buckingham Palace. I was looking through the gates at the Palace and all of a sudden, there was a procession! Now, little me was very excited and wanted to see, but it was somewhere off to the side. So I had the brightest idea to push my head a little further into the gates. It helped, but I still couldn’t see them properly, so I kept on pushing my head into the small gap between the two bars of the gate. The procession went and people started to leave except for me. Why? Because I had very cleverly gotten my head stick in the gates. Of course, my family didn’t help. Nope. They just stood there, laughing while I fruitlessly tried to wrench my head out of those black gates. I did get it out. Eventually. But that was something I’ll never forget.
2. I pressed enter…
Unicorns. An obsession of mine that everyone knows about. One day, I was innocently sitting on my computer in class, when I felt the sudden urge to relieve my bladder, so I excused myself to go to the toilet. Now, in computing I sit next between a girl (K) and a guy (T). Next to T is another guy (D). I think all of them can be classified as friends, some more than others. Maybe not T, especially with what he did. You see, he likes to play pranks on me, and me back. Usually it consists of stupid stuff like him stealing my stuff and me switching off his computer, or trying and failing, to make him lose his work. When I went to the toilet, T came up with something that he thought would declare him the clear winner of our little war. I, oblivious to this sinister plot, innocently came back and sat down at my computer, but the monitor was black. I quickly checked that he hadn’t switched off my computer, but it was just the screen. I knew something was wrong. K and T were trying not to laugh and D was just looking at me in that way he does when he’s trying to warn me about T. Then, T said ‘press enter and you’ll see unicorns’, so with a gasp of excitement, my finger was coming down onto the enter button before I could think about it. If I had thought for even half a second, I would have realised what an obvious trick it is, and I realised this with growing dread as T and K burst out laughing and D shook his head as if he couldn’t believe I fell for it. Considering I’m what is considered ‘intelligent’, I can’t believe it either. Between laughs, T managed to tell me to switch on my monitor, so I did. Only to see that I had searched for ‘gay hardcore porn’. That was the point I could’ve killed him, and probably would’ve, if he hadn’t managed to point out that it was an incognito window. Thank Allah for that! If it hadn’t, a red flag would’ve gone up and every teacher on a computer would’ve been able to see what I had searched. So embarrassing…
I was in school one day, innocently hanging out with some friends and talking. You know, the usual. Then, one of my friends (V), screamed and pointed at me. The rest of my friends (L and AX) scrambled away from me as I looked around in confusion, wondering what was wrong and I saw the bee sitting comfortably on my coat. Now, in my defence, the angle I saw it from made it look like a wasp. I screamed and ran around, but each time I got close to my friends, they backed away, so I had no help from them. The bee, startled by my movement, started to crawl upwards, towards my face, which just leaded to more screaming, running around and ‘get it off me’s. While I was spinning around in circles, I got a good view of the people around me staring at me as if I was crazy. I guess I was, a little. Then, L finally started to help and started to hit me with my bag. The bee got off me, but I was left standing there, hugging myself, feeling violated. But it wasn’t gone. Nope.nit started to crawl all over my bag. I was in hysterics, L kept on whacking the bag on the floor and AX and V were just watching, no help at all. Finally, L got the damn bee off of my bag and I started to feel pretty stupid for doing that over a harmless bee.
4. Tomato Spider
I am sorry to say that I am a person who has severe arachnophobia. I don’t hate spiders, but have an irrational fear of them. In no way whatsoever does that mean I kill them, though. My reasoning is that they shouldn’t have to suffer just because I’m scared of them. So one day, I was lounging on the sofa at home, watching TV, when all of a sudden I heard the word spider, I rushed to go and check whether I was in any immediate danger or not, but all I could see was a tomato. Confused, I bent to pick it up, wondering where the spider was. Then, just before I touched it, the tomato got up and scurried away. I yelled, ran upstairs to my room and locked the door. I know it’s a bit extreme but I was seriously freaked. Then I had a good laugh about it later, wondering how in the world I ended up mistaking a spider for a tomato.
All the way back in primary school (which I guess would be elementary school for Americans), I remember a time in year 4, when I was playing Dobby. In the case of those who don’t know what Dobby is, it’s like the English version of tag. I was all over the place, being chased by my friend. Then, I jumped over a bench and because I’m such a klutz, my foot got caught in the bench and I face-planted the concrete flower bed opposite me. I think I was unconscious, but not for long. When I woke up, I remember my friends just staring at me and me asking if I had anything on my face. I didn’t feel any pain for some reason. Then, I felt something wet on my face and touched it with my hand only to see blood. I looked in the window to see blood running down my face, so needless to say, I freaked out. One of my friends ran and fetched a teacher, who immediately rang an ambulance and I had a nice ride in it. I was okay and only needed two stitches, but of course I played it up as much as possible.
My mum told me that when the school rang her, they said I had a whole in my head, which of course, scared her half to death and she ran over. That was a complete exaggeration. I think now when I look back at it I just laugh at my stupidness. Needless to say, I didn’t jump over any more benches hay time soon.
So that’s my list. Hope you had a good laugh at it and share some of your stories with me in the comments. Nothing better than hearing someone else’s mistakes to make you feel better about you own, lol.